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Why the Nuns Should Oversee the Internet

We were warned. Bad behavior would become part of our PERMANENT RECORD. Our shenanigans would be evident to the world and follow us forever.

When I was a kid, the Sisters, more commonly referred to as “The Nuns,” used the ominous threat of our actions being etched in stone to control the large classrooms of more than 50 students. I don’t know if that made any difference to the bad kids, but the Miss Goody Two Shoes, which includes you-know-who, took this message very seriously. I didn’t want anything to get into the way of maintaining an unblemished PERMANENT RECORD.

We laugh at that disciplinary threat today but we also have to admit, the nuns were right. Many of our actions follow us to the grave. Nowhere is that more certain than on the Internet, which is why I think the nuns should oversee it.

We’ve been told a hundred times that nothing is forgotten or forgiven online. Social media owns our rants, ridicules, and inappropriate postings and photos in perpetuity – forever.

If the nuns were running the show, we’d be stopped in our tracks before posting. We quickly would be reminded and reprimanded saving us from another regrettable entry on our PERMANENT RECORD.

Here are a few other ways the nuns would improve our online experience.

  • Respect. The number one rule would be to respect one another and ourselves. Every post, email, or website would respect the rights of every viewer.

  • Posture. The nuns required us to stand tall, so too, online, we would present ourselves strong and true.

  • Homework. No shooting from the hip or blabbing on about topics that we know nothing about. Postings would be researched and substantiated with credible resources.

  • Quiet Time. If we don’t have something of substance to say, no entry would be allowed. This is when we’d be watching, listening, reading, and learning.

  • Service. Much of our online presence would make a difference, it would be an avenue to improve the lives of those less fortunate.

  • Better Dating Services. No touching, no foul or inappropriate language, and no revealing photos allowed. The nuns know who belongs with whom. Everyone would end up partnered, married, and live happily ever after.

  • Editing. At the very least, our spelling and grammar would be impeccable.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

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