A beloved uncle of mine passed away this month. Uncle Walt was 81 years-old and suffered from a couple of health problems for decades. We would love to have had him longer, but his death was not completely unexpected. Therefore, his memorial was celebratory and honored him with some tears and lots of stories and laughter.
When someone suffers from illness, it’s not unusual to look at their death as a relief. We find a bit of comfort in knowing our loved one is no longer in pain, and for those who believe in heaven, that they are in a better, happier, and easier place from that point through eternity.
Yet even these expected deaths prompt deep pondering about our relationship with the deceased. We reminisce the good times. We also take note of our own passing in the unforeseen near or far future. It’s a wakeup call, a reminder, that no one lives forever. At some point, we too will cross to the other side. And no one knows when that time will come.
When I dream, I encounter friends and family who are both living and dead. These people typically are moving around in the same dream. I see some of them so often, I don’t miss them in this life as much. I’m comforted by their presence in my dreams and also my own death. It helps me to believe in the continuity of life, in one form or another.
Following is a free verse poem I wrote about my experience with such dreams.
*
Never Departed
Moving back and forth
between the living and the dead
friends and family,
past and present.
They’re all with me at the table
communicating when awake
and in my dreams,
sharing signs, words, and visions.
The ability to be together,
simultaneously
in this life and the next,
is comforting.
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Photo: Hibiscus, Colon, MI, 8/2/21
*Take a look at my books: Grieving with Mary and Inspired Caregiving.
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